Some of what you wrote sounds heavier than practice. Subtext is skills rehearsal, not therapy or crisis support, and you deserve real support right now.
In the US: call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), any time.
Elsewhere: findahelpline.com lists free, confidential support in your country.
Nothing has been sent. Your words are still where you left them, and you can carry on whenever you're ready.